WINTER TIME

Gotta love Peyton

2009-05-30T19:45:00.000-07:00

So, we're driving around town the other day, and from the back seat I hear the usual nonessential communication between the boys....when suddenly Peyton calls everyone's attention, including mine.

He says, "Mother, I know the top four jobs I'd like to have when I grow up!" Okay....Peyton, let's hear it. We're enroute to Pop Warner football evaluations, so, not surprisingly, Peyton says, "#1 I'm gonna play in the NFL. (hey, it could happen....) And if I don't get to do that, then my #2 choice is, I'm going to be a Canadian." Christian & I exchange confused glances...and begin to inform Peyton, that he cannot choose to be a Canadian and furthermore, that's not so much an occupation....when he interrupts our thoughts. "What?? I think I'd be really good at standing up in front of people, making them laugh!!!"

Exactly. At which point, Christian and I start dying laughing, realizing the word Peyton was searching for. But before we can kindly correct him, he says....."see, look how much I can make you guys laugh, see??"

So, we just savor the moment and hold off on the correction for now.

He continues, "my #3 choice for a job is to work with Dad. I have no idea what he does, but I know he makes a lot of money, like $100 a week!!!" and my #4 choice is to work with you, mother. We could like work at McDonald's together, wouldn't that be great??"

So, to recap.... NFL, Canadian, ??? with Dad, and McDonalds. Wow!

The only thing I know for sure is Peyton will choose to be happy whatever life holds for him. That I know.

quiet week

2008-06-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of what's sure to be the quietest week this summer, maybe even this year. Christian and Peyton are away at Church camp atop Palomar Mountain.

Christian's moved up to the Jr. High camp, having spent two years in the Youth camp, so he was feeling pretty stoked & confident about that Monday afternoon as we arrived .

9 year old Peyton, however was arriving at camp for the very first time. Mind you, this is the child who does fine sleeping over at Grandma/Grandpa's and Nana & Grandon's, but has only attempted to sleep over at the house of his best buddy, Ivan. You see, at least 3 times, we've gotten the lonesome voice phone call between 10:00-12:00 at night, with sweet Peyton on the other end saying, I miss you....I want to come home....."

So, as I made the one hour drive up the mountain, this thought was on my mind. Would Peyton be okay without us?

As we're in line checking in, he sweetly puts his arm through mine and says, "you're staying, right?" Uhh, what do you mean, Peyton? "you're staying with me, at camp, right?" he replies, with the saddest, you wouldn't leave me, kind of look you've ever seen. I hug his shoulders, Peyton, I'm not staying, I can't stay. I have to get home and take care of Elliot & Brooks this week. I thought you understood that. (I'm being as sweet and gentle, in my answer as I can possibly be, hoping & praying he won't back out of the whole camp idea in fear.....)His puppy dog blue eyes start to well up with worried tears and he bites his bottom lip to try and fight back the anxiety....

Then he grins this huge awesome grin, jokingly punches me in the arm, and laughs, "I was just messin' with you....I'm fine!"

He got me good.
And it's weird, but I'm proud of him, both for being mature enough to go to camp, and clever enough pull a good joke on me.
I love that my kids are growing up....for many reasons.
Have a great week, boys! And I'll enjoy the peace and quiet a few more days.....

"Mommy" farewell

2008-01-12T21:47:00.000-08:00

Christian is my oldest son. We're similar, you might say, and very close for a mother and 11 year old son.

We were driving home from San Diego last night, Brooks was asleep in his car seat and Peyton and Elliot were with Kenny at Basketball practice. A very rare moment for Christian to truly have my undivided attention and total silence at the same time.

His voice sounded serious, "Mommy, I need to talk to you about something." Okay, I said, go ahead. "Um, I've been thinking, um, that maybe I um, am getting older now and would it be okay if I called you something besides, Mommy?"

I was cool. Really. I said, absolutely! I can totally understand that, you're growing up, I figured you'd stop calling me "Mommy", sometime before you left for college. That's fine.

Then I parked the car in front of a Walgreens and turned around to assure him, I was okay with it. He, however, wasn't. Tears were trickling down his face, as he swallowed hard and said, "my throat is burning hot." Looking at my 11 year old baby, it dawned on me that this was a harder transition for him to experience that it was for me. Well if you know me at all, it doesn't take much for my faucet to turn on and participate in the emotion. I hugged him & told him I loved him. "I love you too", he said. Yeah, but I love you the most, I added. He answered with, "I love you the most, Mother."

My "Mommy" days with Christian are done.

To blog or not to blog?

2008-01-03T21:41:00.000-08:00

To blog or not to blog? That is the question. Whether tis nobler to spare your minds the task of reading another's simple thoughts or to thrust my life, my days' adventures across the universe as if my writings were of great importance?

Yeah, I just don't know.

U-Turn

2007-05-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

So we are driving around town the other day, just Brooks and Elliot and myself in the minivan. Out of nowhere Elliot asks, "what does that sign mean?" I look up quickly and notice the "No-U-Turn" sign at the intersection. Well, while driving, I try my best to explain that it means you can't turn your car around and go back in the direction you just came from. Not fully sure that he understands what I just said, or that it makes much sense to me either. "Oh", he replys. "I thought it meant that it's not good to pick up cars and then drop them. That would be bad."

I love the perspective of a 4....almost 5 year old.

Will you ever look at a U-Turn or No U-Turn the same? I don't think I will.

Thanks, Elliot.

Hands

2007-01-25T00:06:00.000-08:00

It's Winter. It's flu season. And I just was forwarded a rather disgusting email which gave me more knowledge than I ever asked for of the many many places my hands can pick up germs and viruses such as the flu. Elevator buttons, escalator handrails, my kitchen dishcloth...etc. Why I know all of this info. is good to be aware of, the truth of the matter is I cannot SEE the germs that come in contact with my hands in any given day.

Having said that, I saw something profound today as my eyes were closed.

We were sitting down to dinner as a family, and grasped hands to pray before our meal of "breakfast for dinner". (A very fun and special treat I used to love as a kid). I normally grasp hands with Brooks and Peyton, but for some reason it was Brooks and Christian's hands I was linked to tonight. As Kenny said thanks, I couldn't focus on anything but the striking contrast between my 2 year old's and my 10 year old's hands. Brooksie's hands are as soft as silk, his skin as squishy as butter, I could just rub the top of his hand against my cheek all day and not tire of the adorably sweet feel of it. Christian's hand was like that at one time, I'm sure of it. But as I held his slender hand in mine, there were no similarities between the two. Christian's hands are thin, as is his whole figure at this point. They are rough with callouses from the monkey bars the basketball, the usual rocks and mud and sand of the school yard. He has hangnails. He has dirty nails! He has scars already that will mark his precious hands for life. And yet, I love those hands just as much as Brooksie's beautifully perfect younger hands. I was struck, not by Kenny's prayer, but by how fast my children are growing and changing every year, every day. A phenomenon I never examined before I became a mother.

God, help me make the most of each day I mother my boys. As fast as they change and grow on the outside, change them on the inside to look and grow more and more like you.

Meet Murray

2006-12-12T22:12:00.000-08:00

Murray came to be a part of our family this summer, at the time just about a year old or a little more and found by the local humane society as a stray dog. He's fun. Young and full of life, gentle with Brooks, he tolerates Elliot laying on top of him, and chases Peyton and Christian at top speed. He's a pup still, in ways that tend to drive Kenny a little insane (the yard's not looking so good, a few valuables have been chewed to destruction......) But all in all we have gotten pretty attached to the blonde fluff ball with one bent ear. Murray was the name of a really cool dog in one of Kenny and my favorite sit-coms from years past. Helen Hunt, Paul Rieser......can you remember......Mad About You. He too had a one ear up and one ear down thing going on, so it brought back some memories. Plus letting the boys name the dog would have led to "Darth Vader" and somehow that didn't quite fit.

We've got a ways to go with the whole "training the dog" procedure, but Murray is part of our pack now and I can see lots of good memories heading this way for years to come.

Lucy Girl

2006-07-15T23:20:00.000-07:00

Kenny and I were married July, 1993. Lucy Girl became our first "child" that October. We had a old falling down kind of house on East North 12th street in Abilene but it came with a huge fenced in yard, complete with a pretty well built dog house. Well, we couldn't let that dog house go to waste, could we? So, off to the pound we went in search of our first "married" pet.

Kenny thought this beagle mix was a cool looking dog, but I immediately fell in love with a dog named Cinnamon, who later became Lucy to us. She was a golden retriever mix and FULL of life. Boy, how she would run in her early days. She would run in circles, jump on top of her dog house, fetch the morning paper everyday, and take Kenny on bike rides by literally pulling him for blocks before slowing her pace. After 6 weeks of obedience school she went from wild to tame and has since been a cherished part of our family, my parents family and my late grandfather's very best friend.

She traveled from Abilene to Escondido in the back of our Honda Accord and for the last 12 years was living the dream as a California dog. She watched as her original owner grew pregnant and brought four baby boys into the world, and she never hurt a one of them. Just a couple of days ago I watched Brooks kiss her head and lovingly lean his weight into her side as she lay on the patio. In a word she was just the sweetest dog.

Lucy died in her sleep sometime last night. Peyton was the first to discover her and realize something was very wrong. Kenny and the older boys buried her with dignity up at mom and dad's house and left flowers, sweet words and her bowl on her grave. We visited the animal shelter today to remind us where Lucy came from and how thankful we are to have adopted her nearly 13 years ago.

I don't know if mom and dad will get another dog, maybe it's our turn, maybe not. But it's a funny thing to realize how very special a good dog can be. The hole Lucy has left will not be easily filled. Bless you sweet doggie, and thank you for loving all of us your entire life.

WAAAALLLLK!!

2006-07-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

Do you remember as a kid, probably at some public city pool, hearing a lifeguard shout this word for what seemed like 4.5 minutes? Over and over little dripping munchkins would be corrected from their desire to run. Something about swimming in a pool on a hot sunny day makes a child so giddy that it's hard to slow those legs down and nearly impossible for a 7 year old to concern themselves with something like safety. "Life is great, I'm wet, I'm cool!" Buoyancy is like a drug running through their veins, and temporarily altering what little good common sense they have amassed in their first years of life. It just doesn't get any better than this.

Such was a typical summer vacation day for my boys yesterday. Christian, Peyton & Elliot all playing in the pool. I love it. They grow so close playing together, working through all the "unfairs" builds their unity, strengthens their brotherly bond. The squeals and shreiks I hear are usually harmless cries of games and adventures. But yesterday I knew the sounds I heard were not to be ignored.

Christian met me at the door, "Peyton's bleeding, alot, his head, I don't want to tell him, I don't want him to freak out". I knew the day was coming, the day we would have our first major pool injury. Guess what, they were running, around the pool, and Peyton's legs were working more than his brain was that day. He sort of jumped down this concrete slide (rather than slow down and sit down) and lost his balance, slipped and slid down the slide very out of control. He slammed his head at the bottom of the slide and knew something was terribly wrong. The blood was scary, but it could have been way worse. The gash was ugly but things weren't unmanagable. Christian prayed immediately, and stuck by Peyton's side through everything. Hours later, after a few hours at the emergency room and 5 staples in his sweet little head life was good again.

A painful lesson to learn, but we are thankful God was watching over Peyton, my sweetie pie. And I pray next time they WAAALLLK!

one liners of the week

2006-06-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

"what does it mean to burn a CD?"
--Christian, on the drive home from his first week away at church camp. Naturally he assumed it had something to do with fire, right?

"there's not even a thought of Christian in here."
--Peyton, a few tears in his eyes, lying in bed Tuesday morning and missing his big brother who had just spent the first night at church camp.

"when I turn 8 I'm going to camp!!!!"
--Elliot, (age 4 years, 3 weeks) declaring his clear intent, as he stood in the kitchen, little fingers clutching the island counter top, eyes barely clearing the surface.

"God Did!"
--Brooks, in response to the question, who made Brooks? repeatedly pointing into the air above him and enjoying the tickling amen from Daddy.

some really great dads

2006-06-18T22:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my most favorite dads.
My husband, Kenny is in a word amazing. He took all four boys on a bike ride today (Brooks in a backpack), Elliot on his training wheel bike and a bungee cord available for those times when Elliot's little legs just can't seem to make the pedals go 'round. I love, truly love watching him father our sons. He delights in their strengths, he is patient and works to better their weaknesses and he appreciates what makes each of them so unique. Brooks, the OOOPS! of the family, has Kenny wrapped around his little finger. Talk about a daddy's boy......after returning from the bike ride today Kenny came upstairs with Brooks still in the backpack and began to manuever him out of the contraption. Having not seen the boys for the last hour and a half I was all "sweet talking" Brooks, "Hello Brooksie, I love you, did you have fun with Daddy, wanna come see mama......" As Kenny handed him to me, relieved to be rid of a sweaty 25 extra pounds on his back, Brooks erupts in protest! reaching longingly for da da, as if I was the evil witch of Escondido. Good grief. But to see a 17 month old recognize that his father is one amazing individual, makes the rejection seem trivial compared to the love a son can have for a dad.

My daddy, Don is one of a kind. He's cool and funny, tender and teasing all in one. And he adores his kids and grandkids. Most grandparents love their grandkids but with Daddy, it's more than that. You see, he loves the "father" role so much that he's partly in denial that his grandkids are just his grandkids. He usually acts as if we (Kenny, myself, Mom & Dad) are all kinda co-parenting together. For instance, I took the boys in to get haircuts last week and Dad (& mom, she's guilty too-it's just not the day to focus on her!) felt the need to call and inform me exactly how he wanted the boys hair to look. Dad never tires of knowing almost every detail of the boys lives, he worries about their safety, their clothing-are they dressed warm enough?, their bedtimes and such....but I know it's all out of an love that goes deeper than my years can understand. It is said that actions speak louder than words. What a truism with my daddy. He gives of his time weekly, if not daily, his actions of love are too many ways to list. I love you Daddy and the way you show your love for me by loving my boys.

Kenny's dad, David, is an incredible person. If I had to describe his example as a father in a word, it would be "wise". It's a wisdom I know if he ever were to read this, he would credit many others for, especially emphasizing his own father. And the fact that he would credit others is once again wise. As a father, he was patient and a good listener. He seems to have worked hard on perfecting an area many of us struggle in, being slow to speak and slow to become angry. His understanding of God's plan for our lives has given him wisdom to parent his kids with their eternity in mind, not just the day to day obstacles that seem to dictate how parents parent today. We still have much to learn from David, but I am thankful for what he has passed down to Kenny through his example and his love.

My brother, Byron, is relatively new to the game of fatherhood (almost 3 years) but I have no doubt he will make one of the best dads ever. There are a lot of things Byron doesn't concern himself too much with but what he cares about, he passionately cares about and works to no end to excel. Church & ministering to those God has put in his life, being a good husband to his wife, Sharla, coaching and his kids at Belton, maintaining friendships with college buddies, smoking a perfectly well done turkey like his dad.....all areas I've witnessed him caring passionately about. But in the last couple of years not much can compare to his devotion to being a good dad. I know he consciously works and tries to better his "daddy skills" and it shows in the way Blake worships him. (I'm sure Anna will too). God bless you in your efforts Byron as you continue to give your very best as a father.

Elliot is 4

2006-06-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Elliot today. Oh, I love this kid so much. I was content to keep him age 2 forever, then I accepted age 3 but knew he just had to stay 3 years old forever. Well, once again time continues to fly and he's arrived at 4.

A couple of weeks ago I was kissing him good night and we had been talking about him staying 3 and not turning 4. He had finally agreed to because as he laid there, exhausted from the day he said, "It's just so hard to get to 4." It was like he was just going to give up and stop trying to "get to 4." This morning after we sang to him and the older boys left for school, we climbed back into bed to see if 4 year olds could snuggle better than 3 year olds (they can!) and I asked him, how did he turn 4? He said, "I don't know, I just sleeped and I turned 4."

It has been a great year for Elliot, first year of pre-school, in love with his teacher, Miss Tammy. Weirdly popular with the kids in his class, they all chant his name as he arrives on the playground each morning. He loves snakes and sharks and crocodiles the most. The most cute and cuddly animals known to man. He sleeps with a 10ft. long plush blue & black snake that he wraps all around him and there's still enough length for a pillow. He adores his brothers, I think Brooks most of all. I think he watches the older boys so much and wants with Brooks the kind of friendship Christian and Peyton share. I'm happy he has that to look forward to.

My father nicknamed him "The Buster" because he has a bit of an ornery streak in him. A perfect match for my dad. Several months back as one of the older boys was saying dinner time prayers, Kenny glanced up and saw that Elliot's eyes were open. He looked at Elliot in a "corrective look" and whispered "close your eyes" without missing a beat, Elliot looked right back at Kenny and said, "close your eyes!" To which Kenny tried to do one of those suppressed laughs and ended up spitting and snorting and ending the prayerful moment.

He's got skin like Kenny's (takes a tan instantly) more green than blue eyes, (must get that from my mom) a super skinny build and long neck (again-Kenny) He reminds the Winter family of Kenny's childhood days more than the other boys do.
He rides his little training wheel bike with reckless abandon (surely he gets that from mom?) and is so eager to play sports like the older boys do. He begged me for swimming lessons and is having lots of fun learning to swim.

One discovery he made this year I especially want to remember. We were saying prayers before bed one night and my heart was heavy with something. (I think baby Ira wasn't doing so well at the time) Elliot began to pray and mentioned "thank you for the dinosaurs....." At the end of the prayer, I said, Elliot, sometimes it's good to pray for things that are alive and really need our prayers. The dinosaurs don't really need our prayers because they aren't alive anymore. --can you see where this is going--. Thoroughly confused he sat up in bed and looking at me, asked intently, "the dinosaurs aren't alive?" Realizing, of course that I should have just smiled, kissed my sweet 3 year old and left the room, I regretted sharing the truth of the dinosaurs. But it was too late to back out now. "No", I said. "They are not alive anymore, they lived a very long time ago and now they are all dead." Yep, the 'D' word. Dead. Elliot sat up even straighter, 'they're all DEAD?" Ugh. It wasn't getting better. Eventually the conversation ended and I don't recall any nightmares that night or the next. But for the next few weeks our prayers included, "please help the dinosaurs to be alive and to not be dead." In other words, please help my mommy to be totally out of the loop on this one, dear God. But of course logical mommy noted about a month after hearing this repetitive prayer that if the dinosaurs were alive they would walk around smashing cars and houses because they were so huge. It's really a good thing that they lived a long time ago and not today. Now the current prayer is, "thank you that the dinosaurs are all dead so they can't walk around and smash my house down, please help the dinosaurs to stay dead, God so they don't hurt people and smash their cars....."

Some days I cringe and wonder how I ever got into this whole parenting gig.....

One thing is for certain about Elliot. Ask him any day of the week, "whose boy are you?" And without a second thought he'll reply, "I'm mommy's boy." I'll hang onto that years longer than it will last. Happy Birthday my sugar.

me and the light bulb

2006-02-08T21:30:00.000-08:00

You know you're getting old when your nine year old asks, "was Thomas Edison alive when you were a child"?

Baby Caleb

2006-02-01T23:30:00.000-08:00

There is a new Winter boy on the block! Tim and Jenny welcomed Caleb Russell into the world yesterday evening, after a grueling 24 hour/forceps/baby face up/cord around the neck kind of labor. All are well, praise God. Little Caleb weighed 6lbs. 11oz. and I am anxious to meet him. It's fun to rejoice with them and remember what that first baby experience was like. It's amazing, becomming a mommy and daddy for the first time in your life. Ahhhhh.

Poor Brooksie, his first year has been radically different that what Caleb will enjoy. Being drug from picking up the brothers at school to baseball practice, to karate, to scouts, to chicken nuggets again for dinner. It's just not fair is is Brooks? Of course it is.....he'll never know the difference and he gets to be adored by so many more faces on a daily basis. Maybe he is the lucky one after all.

Tim and Jenny will make stellar parents, God has gifted them with such a heartfelt, natural love for little ones. Caleb scored big by being born to them. I'll probably be learning parenting tips from them in no time at all. We love you and miss you sweet, new Winter family. Kisses to Caleb from Auntielle.

wave goodbye to '05

2005-12-31T22:30:00.000-08:00

So my attentive brother calls tonight to remind me that if I fail to blog before the end of the year I will have a gap in my archives! I can't let that happen now can I?

Ahhhh, my brother.....He and his family were out here in California for about a week before Christmas. What fun that was. I really am so thankful that he and Sharla regard family as important enough to travel 1500 miles with two babies just to be together for the holidays. He's my only sibling. Kenny's family is larger, so we see "family" of some sort quite often. But my family isn't so big, and the times our paths cross is few. But I am thankful for the efforts we all make to stay as close as we can.

That week was fun. Byron married an incredible person in his wife, Sharla. I love her 'realness', she is smart, and honest and confident. Together they have Blake, a textbook 2-year old, adorable and a total handful and Anna, a near perfect baby, a perfect addition to their family. Blake and our son, Elliot play well together except for times when Blake grabs a handful of Elliot's mop of hair. I think the cause and effect reaction is just too much for him to resist! Sadly I think Elliot may always refer to Blake as the Texas cousin that pulls hair. Anna is a doll, literally. It is so fun to shop and buy the cutest clothes for her. I look forward to sharing vacations with Byron's family for years to come.

I am so proud of Byron today. We have known each other for forever but not until the last decade or so have I grown to really like and love him more. As the years have passed he has become someone I respect and admire and truly enjoy being with. You might say we had kind of a cat & dog relationship during our growing up years. I was 4 years older and loved the advantage that came with that. He was 100% boy and I had not an ounce of tomboy in me. We were just different, our interests were never the same and our competitive natures at times made us more enemies than friends.

It started to change when he began ACU and I married his best friend. We were all in Abilene together and he would spend many a hours at Kenny and my house. I loved giving him a hard time but secretly, I loved him hanging around. He would steal bowls of ice cream and we would talk. We started becoming friends more than just siblings. His first date at ACU included a stop by our house and making some kind of pudding/pie dessert. (Sharla would remember it better than me.) I loved being his sister at that point, being included in the begininning of that relationship. Our connection as brother and sister has only grown stronger since then.

Today he's a man, a wise and Godly man. He's a spiritual leader in the Kingdom and in his home. He's a good father, he takes this responsibility very seriously. He's the most loving and supportive husband to Sharla, they are truly one on everything it seems. I love watching him grow and mature and learn as he goes. I love that we can talk, deep, about subjects and not have to agree on a point. I respect his views and the way we can not see eye to eye, but still appreciate each other's heart. I am thankful that we have reached a point where we protect the relationship above any issue or circumstance.

I miss you, Byron, but I have learned to cherish the times we share more and more. Thank you for the sacrifice you make to stay close to us. I beam with pride to refer to myself as your sister.

Happy New Year

quiet weekend

2005-11-11T23:00:00.000-08:00

Hey what do you know, I have a moment to update my blog. The house is quiet and has been for hours now.

The boys (everyone except Brooks) are camping this weekend with Cub Scouts. They are probably rosting marshmallow right about now, or of course, conducting a variety of science experiments concerning fire, what burns quickly, slowly, what has a really cool chemical reaction and ignites a seven foot flame.

Excuse me while I take a moment to pray......

I know they are having a blast. Boys were just made to camp. It's like their very nature to relish the camping experience. It makes them truly happy to wear the same clothes a couple days in a row, eat charcoal burned hot dogs and pay no mind to the accumulation of dirt they wear around. This no rules, nothing but fresh air and nature to breathe in, brings out a delight in them you just don't see at school, around the house, at the office......

I am happy to have a family full of boys. They're so cool, so different from me, it's fun to just observe their simple joys.

Thank you God for my boys, they are all so different, and yet all the same. Life gets better with each new day.

Papa

2005-10-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about my grandfather this month. He died a year ago this October and I realize now how much I miss him.

At this time last year he had been suffering for so long, in and out of hip surgeries, hospitals, 3 different care facilities. I have watched him over the past few years go from driving a car to barely being able to walk with a walker.

It's hard to watch someone die. Emotionally, a lot of my Papa died many years ago. His beloved wife, Esther passed away in 1991 and life for Papa had been more bitter than sweet since that day. He cared for her for more than a year as she spent her last days consumed with pancreatic cancer. It was rough, but it was the most serving, loving, selfless days of his life, and I believe he was at his best during that time. During that time he was so soft, he would cry easily, and found joy in being a good husband, and a faithful friend to his spouse. I thank God that they had that time together, it really cemented their relationship in kindness before it ended.

But since Nana's death, "going on" was not easy for Papa. He had good moments, laughs (mostly at someone else's expense) and smiles (mostly brought on by his great grandsons) and I am thankful we shared many a meals and holidays together in recent years. But it's only now that I find myself really wishing his life wasn't over. I'm afraid my memory of him will fade as it already has begun to in my childrens' minds.

Elliot was the last to see Papa before he died. We went to visit him in a home/care facility where there were 4 patients or so, all mostly lying around in recliners, catheterized, etc. When we were there he was sleeping at first, mom and dad warned me he really wasn't himself.... but after a few minutes of us hanging around and Elliot, 2 at the time making normal 2 year old noise, Papa came to. He knew us for sure, he smiled and tried his best to carry on small talk although he knew how disoriented he was. I was six months pregnant at the time but I know he had lost track of that fact. But he knew Elliot and as he watched my little boy it brought him joy in a way that no adult could. He didn't want small talk with me really, he wanted life, and watching a 2 year old is life, the very definition of it. Elliot had found a little beach ball around the house and was entertaining himself as I prayed he wouldn't break one of the many trinkets lying around this care home. Papa watched him with a twinkle in his eye and then motioned for Elliot to come over to him. He asked Elliot for the ball and amazingly began to throw the ball back and forth with my little boy. Of course Elliot was blind to Papa's discomforts and circumstances, and I think Papa liked that the most. The game of catch soon turned into target practice for Papa. He would recognize when he threw it too far to one side or another and would say, "oh me, that was a bad throw!" Once he hit him square in the face which made Elliot crack up with laughter. That I know for sure was the last sweetest moment of Papa's life. He died 2 days later.

For months after that day I relived that experience with Elliot, not wanting him to forget who his Papa was and the positive day we had together. But now it's a year later and Papa's name gets mentioned less and less. That's what makes me write this post. I have to say I loved my Papa, and I want to savor the memories I have left.

Peyton has a clearer memory of Papa than Elliot. We were cleaning out the closet recently and I said let's get rid of these house shoes..... Peyton said, "no, I like those house shoes, they help me remember Papa" and sure enough, they were the same style as Papa wore, more often than shoes. Now I'll have to keep those house shoes forever! Another favorite memory of Peyton's is from when he was 3 or 4 and had finally mastered the ABC song. He would be singing along as we were all in the car together and he would ask Papa if he knew his ABC's....Papa would say, no, I don't know my ABC's.....and Peyton would say try to sing your ABC's. To that Papa would burst out in song, the twinkle twinkle little star tune "RMDXNBQ...... and so on and so on. Peyton would just die laughing thinking it so hillarious that Papa could be so old and not know his ABC's. We would play that game over and over and Papa loved entertaining Peyton so.

I loved cooking for Papa, you would think I was Julia Childs by the way he bragged on my leftover casseroles. Oh, it's late and I am tired. I know this has been a long, uninteresting kind of post for some of you, but that's okay. It was something I needed to do. I need to say, Papa, thank you for being my Papa. I love you and have loved being your "messy" granddaughter. Even though you dropped me on my head when I was just a baby!, I have loved you being apart of my life, especially these last 6 years. I will miss you as I miss Nana. And as the years continue to roll on by I will not forget you or the love behind your laughs and tears. I am so glad you were able to know 3 of my boys, your great grandsons! What a gift it was for them to see you, hug you, and steal candy from your candy dish. Thank you Papa for your life, and for being the best Papa I knew for so many years. Donielle

almost normal

2005-09-24T18:30:00.000-07:00

Kenny's home! Yea! Although his plane was delayed, missed his connection, arriving 3 hours later than we had hoped, he's home.

Christian is doing great! Hematoma sp? is the word for what he had, or soft tissue damage. He must have hit his knee pretty hard, broke a blood vessel and a whole mess of blood and fluid accumulated in the oddest looking way. The orthopedic surgeon said all bones, ligaments, cartiledge look good. It's just something his body will naturally absorb. Thank you God, what an amazing body you designed.

Beauty and the Beast is going well. The boys look great and all the long hours and hard work is finally becoming fun! They had 2 performances today, so they will be pooped by the time they get home, around 11:00 or so. Closing show is tomorrow and lots of friends and family will be there to watch, that will be fun for the boys. Look for pictures in a day or two.

Kenny is feeling a little under the weather, and opted out of a planned 24 hour endurance/mountain bike team race. His teammates have to be a little bummed, as is Kenny, but he made the right call and his achey body will thank him for it on Monday morning.

He's teaching a class on 1 Corinthians beginning this week. It's a serious study and I know it will be great. James Gibbs has put together all the materials and lessons. What a man of God he is. I don't know of any married couple that loves and honors the Word of God more than James and JoAnn. Their example is huge, their faith is unshakeable, their hearts are golden and their peace is profound. I love and respect them for so many reasons. I always have, I just have to say it.

what a day....

2005-09-22T23:30:00.000-07:00

My dear husband, Kenny is a good father and a loving husband. He is blessed to work just 10 minutes from our house in a job that allows me to not need to work outside the home. He pretty much makes his own schedule at work, doesn't have a boss telling him he can't take off early if his family needs him etc. He never has to travel for work, but chooses to attend an educational seminar maybe once or twice a year. Well long story longer....this is the one week this year he is gone. And silly me, I thought I would be okay without him!

It's been a challenge getting all four boys up and out of the house this week by 7:59 a.m. but we've made it, even if Elliot brushes his teeth on the way, we've made it.

Brooks' overflexibility issue is fresh and without a lot of answers. I'm concerned. We had our second physical therapy session today and it was basically a solid hour of measuring just how flexible he is. Very flexible kinda sums it up. "he could join the circus!" said the therapist. I don't know what all that means, I just don't want it to be something that greatly affects Brooksie's life. We're praying.

The older boys have been practicing for a play, "Beauty and The Beast" off and on since late June and their performance is this weekend. What does that mean.....I'll tell you what that means. It means the last week before production, the cast practices each and every night, in full make-up and costume from 4:00-9:00 or 9:30 or whenever the boys dressing room is presentable. So basically Christian and Peyton have had 14 hour days this week, pretty taxing on the little ones.

So my evening schedule this week has been as follows:
3:00 pick up boys from school
3:10 grab a snocone at the library (some people actually go and read books there?)
3:30 arrive at play practice to dress and apply make-up
4:00 play practice begins, go home or run errands
6:00 bring the boys dinner at play practice
8:45 leave to pick the boys up from play practice (my folks, saint mom and dad, always help)
9:30 or later get home, and get to bed!!

all of this while dragging little Brooks and Elliot along.

So tonight about 8:00 I get this call, they are saying Christian is hurt, his knee is swollen quite a bit and he's upset. Can I come get him. Of course I can....I'm SUPERMOM!!! Sure enough, I get down there and it looks like he has an alien the size of a golf ball on his knee. With the help of those saintly grandparents we carry him to the car and all seven of us head off to "urgent care". The doctor was very kind, but very baffled as to what is going on with Christian's knee. His guess is a soft tissue or ligament damage, not a broken bone. After two hours we were sent home with an ace wrap and a dose of motrin, along with instructions to see a pediatric orthopedic surgeon on Friday.

When it rains, it pours......what a day. Kenny, come home quickly!!! Mom and Dad, you are amazing, where would I be without you??? I get that now that I am a parent, of course there is nothing I would not do for my children. But to see that in action, in your own parents is humbling. They gladly serve, thinking nothing of themselves. I love you both.

overflexible

2005-09-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

Brooks had a doctors appointment, an x-ray and a physical therapy appointment today. For an adult that would be one heck of a day, for an 8 month old, it was utterly exhausting.

It started with me thinking about how he hadn't made progress this past month in the area of crawling or even what I would term crawling readiness. He despises being put up on all fours, makes no attempt at getting his knees up underneath him or working himself into a sitting position.

The physical therapist noted that he lacks muscle tone in his shoulders and his shoulder blades seem to slip and slide a little too much. His hip joints and ankles are "overflexible" and overflexibility is the opposite of stability. It seems these things are making him unable to support himself in a crawling position. Finally, he has an asymmetrical crease on his inner thigh, which may be an indicator or it may be absolutely nothing at all.

The x-rays showed nothing of concern, however the doctor and physical therapist are wanting to monitor him pretty closely. I've been given some exercises to work with him on, so we will do those and do a lot of praying too.

I ask for your prayers for little Brooks. We sure love him so.

big teeth

2005-09-14T23:34:00.000-07:00

On the way to church tonight I asked the boys to name 3 new friends at their new school, Christian named his and Peyton was referring to his as "that big 3rd grader, and the kid I was saying good-bye to, and the other kid...etc. Christian reminded him of a friend he was talking to...."what about that guy with the really curly hair?" Peyton (the most loving kid on the planet) said, no, he's not my friend.

My ears perked up, Why? I asked.

Because I don't like people with really big front teeth, they're scary.

He means of course kids who have just lost their front teeth, which he hasn't yet, and the permanent teeth grow in looking pretty awkward. Christian went to the defense of all kids with big front teeth, "hey, I've got big teeth and you will too once you lose your baby teeth!"

Peyton processed this realization for a moment and replied, Then I'll be really scary too!

I love six year olds, big teeth and all. They say it like they see it, plain and true.

Christian

2005-09-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

My oldest son Christian, turns 9 today. Nine years old, his last year in the single digits. How did this happen? I know it makes me sound like and old fogie parent, but where did the time go?

Nine years ago tonight, we welcomed him into our arms. He was born at 11:04 p.m. We had induced labor at 6:30 that morning. I had pushed for 2 1/2 hours and finally the doctor brought out the vacuum seals. It took four of those to finally get him out. Nobody would have guessed my first baby would weigh 10 pounds. He's skin and bones today, but tall and handsome as can be. He is such a cool kid. Hey, it's my blog, I can brag on my boys all day long if I want to, nobody is forcing you to read this!

He's like me in lots of ways, he chooses crazy flavors of sno-cones and ice creams, like mango-banana just the other day. And his birthday cake of choice had lemon filling and rainbow sherbet for ice cream. He's very sure of himself, very confident and decisive. He argued the theory of evolution vs. creation with one of his best friends/son of 2 scientists for like an hour this summer. He's a humorist and he's truly funny, not just nine year old silly, he's that too, but he genuinely makes you laugh. He's got a style of his own, from his mop of blond wavy hair to his black converse all stars. He's a big brother to 3 others, a lover of amphibians and reptiles. His favorite is the Jesus Christ lizard, I never knew such a creature existed until he assured me it did. Google it, it's a cool little critter. His mind is amazing, forgetting almost nothing, it's always turning, thinking bizarre little thoughts most of us would never consider.

I took popsicles to his 3rd grade class today to celebrate his birthday, the kids ate them outside the classroom and then started a short game of kick-ball. The teacher wasn't involved, it was just what the kids, mostly boys wanted to do. I watched as Christian preferred to bounce a basketball up a flight of 15 stairs or so, taking a step and bouncing the ball a step as he climbed. Later on, after school, I asked him why he didn't want to play kick ball with the other boys? (This is a new school this year and I'm a little anxious for him to make friends.) He said he didn't really like kick-ball when kids are "in-charge", they're always fighting over the rules, who's out and who's not out, etc.... He's happy enough just doing his own thing.

I have one decade left with him, before he'll leave for college. 10 years to hug and kiss him everyday. 10 years to tease him to help him, to comfort him and advise him. 10 crucial years to train him in the way he should go, so that when he is old he would choose not to depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6) God, thank you for my eldest son, for the joy and honor it is to be his mother. Give me wisdom in parenting, wisdom everyday.

9-11

2005-09-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

I've had a life defining moment. I couldn't sleep last night because of something that had convicted me, it is eating at me, taunting me to ponder the complete picture, the bigger lesson to be learned.

I sit down to write my "once a month" blog and like a neon sign the date pops up. 9-11. What a day to reflect, to ponder a new truth and make a change for the better.

Christian turns nine years old tomorrow but we celebrated his birthday with a Calvin and Hobbes themed birthday party today, at our house. Typical party, all boys, swimming in the pool, hamburgers for dinner, cake, presents, etc.

One of the boys we invited was a friend from church. He was only going to be able to stay for 30 minutes of the party time because his mom had another commitment planned. At the spur of the moment and under the influence of my mom's homemade chocolate frosting, I offered to keep this friend beyond the party, overnight, and bring him to church the next day. I added that I was certain we had clean church clothes that would fit him, an unused toothbrush and all those details. Long story short, he stayed for the party and the night.

This 9 year old's presence has taught our family so much.

From the moment he walked in he asked if we needed any help in the kitchen. He expressed more grattitude for his hamburger dinner than anyone else. His face was plastered with a grin from ear to ear, and never was a complaint or unkind word uttered from his lips. He easily complimented others, seeing only good in his peers. He shared the joy of each gift Christian opened, truly happy for someone else. I asked him, "Are you excited about spending the night with us?" In sweet honesty, he said, "I'm a little nervous." Later before he took his shower, I asked if he was okay, "he replied, yes I'm a little homesick, I might cry a little." (which by the way, he never did) But my point is it was so beautiful to see a 9 year old, so open and true with his feelings. Sometime in the evening, Kenny was wrestling with 5 or more boys, including our 13 year old neighbor boy up the street. The 9 year old came running down the stairs and exclaimed, "Mr. Winter is impossible to defeat!! He is so COOL!!" He called his mom's cell phone around 10:00, and I don't know the gist of that conversation because he spoke in Spanish to her, but at the end, for some reason in English, I heard him say, "Christian is my very best friend." As Kenny said prayers with the older boys his prayer was this...."Thank you God that I got to come to Christian's birthday party. Thank you for making this the best day of my life." Amen

We live in a bubble, most of the time. Our city is at least 50% Hispanic, and yet we live in a world of private Christian schooling, cub scouts, piano lessons, a English/Spanish church congregation, (but quite honestly, we don't combine fellowship all that often.) My kids and their friends have everything they need and more, from large, well-furnished homes, to too many toys to list.

We are spoiled and we are selfish.

I couldn't see it until someone not very similar to us came to live with us for a few hours.

It reminds me of Jesus. He came for a short time and gave our world a new perspective by the way he lived. Yes, at times he taught the people, but mostly he just lived. And the way he lived got people's attention. This little boy got my attention yesterday, and I wasn't alone, most other parents of equally spoiled/selfish kids took notice of this one's character. Praise God for this child.

When the kids were finally tucked in for the night, Kenny and I sat and chewed on this thought for a while. This was a kid we wanted ours to be more like. I think my kids are pretty awesome kids, but I recognize we need to learn from this boy's example.

You see, from our viewpoint, he doesn't have very much, materially or otherwise. But that isn't what makes him beautiful. It's not his lack of "stuff" including lack of a daddy that makes this kid shine brighter than the rest. I can't say exactly what it is that makes this boy so Christlike but I think it has much to do with what I am going to call "exposure".

Exposure means what he sees and lives with and relates to and is asked to understand on a daily basis. I imagine it is vastly different than my kids' exposure. I think about the recent hurricane. We have donated an amount I feel pretty good about, but we could do more.....but because we don't have TV in our home, my kids are pretty clueless about the whole thing. I think I thought I was sparing them the confusion and the saddness of the whole situation. I've thought, "they're young, they're innocent, they don't really need to know what a scary, difficult, unfair world we live in. I am rethinking that now. I don't want to shock them just to cause them pain, but by not exposing them to life outside what is safe, nice and easy, I am hardening their hearts to the fruits of the spirit. I don't think you can learn love, joy and peace when you're not exposed to the reality of this world, absent from those. Can you learn kindness, patience, goodness when you aren't faced with a dire need for those traits? Thankfulness is learned best when you have the least, You understand gentleness best when you see the ugliness of harshness. And self-control is just an ambiguous concept to those who have more than they need.

We are spoiled and we are selfish and I think it is not because our hearts are spoiled and selfish, but because of who and what we expose ourselves to and more importantly our children to.

I want my boys to be more like that little boy asleep in their room, but what I am really saying is he reminds me of Jesus and I am reminded by this 9 year old why being a Christian is what it is, being more like Christ.

We are four years past the sad day of 9-11, and nearing two weeks since Hurricane Katrina hit. Life is hard, God knew it would be full of great sadness and joy. I am beginning to see the wisdom of us being exposed to the pains of this world. Only through that can we be refined and direct others to know the Savior of mankind.

grocery store w/4

2005-08-22T22:00:00.001-07:00

Most kids are back in school around here, but not mine! I get them all to myself for another 2 whole weeks!!! That's right, 4 darling boys aged 7 months to almost 9 just hanging with mom all day. I love them so much it hurts but today it hurt more than usual. I opened the fridge and noticed we were down to about 5 ounces of milk in the 2 milk jugs. "Oh dear. I have to go to the grocery store." I remember why this is a task I usually reserve for 6:30 am or 10:00 pm. But off we went.... To my kids delight the Ralphs grocery store had one of those grocery carts with a little tikes type car attached to the end for a toddler to enjoy while mom shops. Parents love these things, it occupies a busy child, but it makes your shopping cart like eleven feet long. A joy to maneuver. So both Peyton and Elliot managed to wedge themselves into the car, Brooks is in the regular spot for a child and Christian, not wanting to be the only one walking on two feet is straddling the top of the car as we head for the milk. I left my ongoing list of "things we need from the grocery store" at home so I am wandering the aisles trying to jog my memory, hoping the things we really need will just jump off the shelves and into my cart. It's not happening. Instead we bought starburst smoothies, cotton candy flavored yogurt, peanut butter captain crunch and I think one of every single box of fruit snack products available. Packing school lunches is just 2 weeks away, so I rationalized most of these items as necessary. Who am I kidding, they will all be consumed before the first day of school. All in all the boys were helpful (at times) they did unload my cart and when we finally got home brought all the bags inside. I am just thankful today I wasn't in need of eggs. They would have never survived.

recent flicks

2005-08-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

Been to the movies lately? For a mother of four, I have been more than I am used to. Three this month so far....that's a record for a nursing mom. So here's the my latest movie reviews, let me know your thoughts.....

March of the Penguins-Is there a God or what? Good gracious! How can anyone sit through this more than amazing documentary and wonder otherwise. Simply unbelievable what these birds do to continue to exist on this planet. And what got me is there are no slackers. That's right, they get five years to be careless kids, play, hang out with their buddies, explore and "find themselves", then when they turn five, they suck it up, join the responsible older penguins and spend most of their days focused on what is required of them. Reproduction. None of this, "I am not really fulfilled at my job, or yikes I got someone pregnant, what do I do?? , or maybe I'll just take this season off and relax. No, these guys are driven, with a purpose, and a responsibility to those who came before them and those who will come after they are gone. Hummm, maybe we could learn a little from our South Pole friends.

Batman Begins-I thought good grief, another batman film? Kenny, haven't we seen like 4 or 5 different batman films in recent years? Why one more? But this really was cool. What a great story, all the details and history made you love the bat dude even more than before. He was so human, so much more than in the other batmans. A very likeable show overall. The only thing that eventually got on my nerves was that crazy crooked smile of Batman's childhood love, Rachel Dawes.

Charlie & the Chocolate Factory-I was a little nervous about taking the boys to this show. You just can't be sure about PG rated shows these days. But Christian read a condensed novel and I promised him we'd all go if he finished the book. Well he did, and we went. I totally loved it! Yes, Johnny Depp and all. Charlie was beautiful, the kind of boy we all want our sons to resemble. His heart and his actions were humble and pure. The other four kids, a perfect picture of self centeredness, greed, selfish ambition and pride at its ugliest. The little actors and actresses couldn't have been easier to despise. As for Wonka, he was hillarious, troubled, quirky, downright weird, but I liked him. His personality and wit just made me smile. The messages the movie taught were great, love old people, they are precious and wise. Obey and you will be blessed. Give generously and you will be happy. Forgiveness is freeing. Your parents love you more than you can imagine. Cotton Candy is actually pink sheep fur.......

Any movies you would recommend?

this little piggy....

2005-07-17T12:35:00.000-07:00

went to the market, the next stayed home, the third ate roast beef, the fourth had none, but my last little piggy decided to wander off course, blaze his own trail, follow his heart, and ram smack into the edge of Christian's bed and break a bone! Owwwwwwwww! So I spent the better part of yesterday in an urgent care clinic, reading a waterskiing magazine. After three
hours, an x-ray showed the break and the doctor said.....wear shoes. What a bright idea!

It's funny, all the mundane chores I used to silently complain about now sound like a priviledge with 10 working toes. I have taken that little right piggy for granted my entire life! Really I take so much for granted. Where do I begin. Thank you God, for my health, my husband, my children, my parents and extended family, my awesome church family, my sweet friends, I know I am just scraping the surface, but thank you God. May you receive glory in all that I say, in all that I do. From the hairs on my head, to, you guessed it, my last little toe.

What are you thankful for today?

cold stoned

2005-07-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

We took Elliot out for ice cream at Cold Stone last night-an attempt at bribing him to get into the pool for the swimming lessons we are throwing money out the window for. It worked! But that's not the point. Can someone please tell me what is up with the new "flavors of the month" campaign at Cold Stone. I would love to meet their test subjects. Why on earth would someone visit an ice cream shop in hopes of finding flavors such as "fruity cereal, black licorice, and wasabi ginger"? I sampled the neon blue fruity cereal flavor-cause hey, I enjoy an occasional bowl of Trix as much as the next stay at home mom. Of course it was as disgusting as it appeared at first sight. The best part was even my 3 year old, who could live on a diet of french fries and fruit snacks, snubbed his nose at it. Has anyone tried the other weird flavors? What's your favorite marble slab concoction?

summer vacation '05

2005-07-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

Not so cool of me to begin my blog and then skip town for 2 weeks. Sorry all of my faithful readers! What a trip, leaving 82 degree Escondido for 101 degree Texas/Oklahoma.....that's a "vacation"? It was. Being with my brother and his quickly growing family, enjoying time with my folks away from the mundane, seeing college roomates, a family reunion and 3 days with the Williamsons, dearest friends from a decade ago. It was a great vacation. Usually I think of vacation in the sense of relaxing, room service, and pristine weather. This little trip had none of those highlights. It was more like 10 days in a 30' RV with 4 kids under 8. Wowzers! But it was restorative. I feel enriched by the hours we spent and the money we spent getting to fellowship with the amazing people God has placed in our lives. Too often we take for granted the souls we are privileged to know. I hope our family blessed all of you as much as you have blessed us.

Vacation highlights...
Day 1 Not losing anyone in an airport! Rooftop swimming pool at hotel.
Day 2 Pick up RV, Brown Family Reunion in Gainesville, TX
Day 3 Church w/Byron leading worship and iced tea at McAllister's, Byron's 30th birthday party at the lake park.
Day 4 Kenny's 6am skiing, local Temple waterpark, scrapbook party, dinner at Smetana's-Peyton gets 63 mosquito bites.
Day 5 On the lake-everybody ski's, hot dogs in the RV, late night dinner at Fuddruckers (messed up Blake's bedtime routine!)
Day 6 Anna gets first shots, Elliot swallows a penny. More skiing, so Christian can show off. Barbecue & Blue bell with Lee Bracken in Salado. Peyton gets bubblegum in his eyelashes and is drugged with benedryl.
Day 7 Travel to Fort Worth/Dallas. Lunch with Jerry Barker & family. Dinner with Ron Green, parking a 30' RV in downtown Dallas, light the menu on fire.
Day 8 Oklahoma thunderstorm-wow! Trip to Oklahoma City memorial with Williamsons. Evening at the local waterpark, grilled hamburgers and ate outdoors in the california-like weather!
Day 9 Kenny's famous waffles for breakfast, Fun & games at Incredible Pizza and attempt at taking pictures together.
Day 10 Church at Memorial Road, seeing Rebekah's family, swimming at Sydney's, Marble Slab creamery for ice cream-oops, their air conditioning went out, so it was more like milkshake in a cone, a sweet sticky mess.
Day 11 Bigger Oklahoma thunderstorm and return the RV, fly home to California, just in time for fireworks at the Chruch.

What a great time......praise God for our safety.

who am I, really?

2005-06-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

In college I got a degree in Mass Communication, a lovely piece of paper I put to use everyday as I "manage" a "mass" of 4 little boys, my sons 8, 6, 3, and 5 months. In my last semesters at ACU I took some Marketing courses as electives, mainly because Kenny was in the business building, so where else would I want to be?? I fell in love with marketing, the idea of consumer behavior and Dr. Lytle was the best. If I had to do college all over again, no doubt the study of marketing would be my passion. A phrase Lytle often said when promoting his classes was, "Marketing Rules The World!" We would laugh at his boasting, but on a non-spiritual level I still agree with Lytle's stance on the subject.

This is what troubles me about setting up a blog. In marketing you identify your audience, your target market and present your product or service in a way that will most connect with and convince whoever you are speaking to. There is incredible power in the way something is presented.

In a way I have always "marketed" Donielle. I naturally think about where someone else is coming from, their age, their intrests, their sense of humor, their maturity, their liberal or conservative viewpoints, etc. I do this before I jump out and "be me". Does this make me a hypocrite? I am not sure, but I admit the color of my personality is a different shade when I am with my brother than it is with my mother-in-law.

In blog-world, there is no way to "market" oneself, is there.....I guess all three of you will now see Donielle, the un-edited, straight from the heart version. I can't guess at who my audience might be, I can't word thing one way for some and another for others. It's kinda scary and liberating all in one. Winter Time may turn out to be more enlightening for me than those of you who take the time for Winter Time.

God Bless

blogging day 1

2005-06-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

I'm a blogger now, never dreamed I could be, never thought I would be. But Byron has done such a nice job with his and being the kind brother he is, helped me create one of my own, so here it goes.

I am not sure why I am doing this. Is it for me? Is it for you? Maybe it's for my kids? Or just for those moments when life is rushing by and something happens, good or bad; and you know you'll never forget that moment....and then time passes and you do. Months or years later something random may happen and it triggers a forgotten moment. I think to myself, that moment was almost lost forever, and I wonder how many other little memories of mine have wandered away.

If my blog makes you smile or cry or laugh or think let me know, would you?

May God bless the world of blogging, the prayers that are shared, the encouragement given, the advice asked for and the tears that flow in this little amazing computer driven window of life we now share.