9-11

I've had a life defining moment. I couldn't sleep last night because of something that had convicted me, it is eating at me, taunting me to ponder the complete picture, the bigger lesson to be learned.

I sit down to write my "once a month" blog and like a neon sign the date pops up. 9-11. What a day to reflect, to ponder a new truth and make a change for the better.

Christian turns nine years old tomorrow but we celebrated his birthday with a Calvin and Hobbes themed birthday party today, at our house. Typical party, all boys, swimming in the pool, hamburgers for dinner, cake, presents, etc.

One of the boys we invited was a friend from church. He was only going to be able to stay for 30 minutes of the party time because his mom had another commitment planned. At the spur of the moment and under the influence of my mom's homemade chocolate frosting, I offered to keep this friend beyond the party, overnight, and bring him to church the next day. I added that I was certain we had clean church clothes that would fit him, an unused toothbrush and all those details. Long story short, he stayed for the party and the night.

This 9 year old's presence has taught our family so much.

From the moment he walked in he asked if we needed any help in the kitchen. He expressed more grattitude for his hamburger dinner than anyone else. His face was plastered with a grin from ear to ear, and never was a complaint or unkind word uttered from his lips. He easily complimented others, seeing only good in his peers. He shared the joy of each gift Christian opened, truly happy for someone else. I asked him, "Are you excited about spending the night with us?" In sweet honesty, he said, "I'm a little nervous." Later before he took his shower, I asked if he was okay, "he replied, yes I'm a little homesick, I might cry a little." (which by the way, he never did) But my point is it was so beautiful to see a 9 year old, so open and true with his feelings. Sometime in the evening, Kenny was wrestling with 5 or more boys, including our 13 year old neighbor boy up the street. The 9 year old came running down the stairs and exclaimed, "Mr. Winter is impossible to defeat!! He is so COOL!!" He called his mom's cell phone around 10:00, and I don't know the gist of that conversation because he spoke in Spanish to her, but at the end, for some reason in English, I heard him say, "Christian is my very best friend." As Kenny said prayers with the older boys his prayer was this...."Thank you God that I got to come to Christian's birthday party. Thank you for making this the best day of my life." Amen

We live in a bubble, most of the time. Our city is at least 50% Hispanic, and yet we live in a world of private Christian schooling, cub scouts, piano lessons, a English/Spanish church congregation, (but quite honestly, we don't combine fellowship all that often.) My kids and their friends have everything they need and more, from large, well-furnished homes, to too many toys to list.

We are spoiled and we are selfish.

I couldn't see it until someone not very similar to us came to live with us for a few hours.

It reminds me of Jesus. He came for a short time and gave our world a new perspective by the way he lived. Yes, at times he taught the people, but mostly he just lived. And the way he lived got people's attention. This little boy got my attention yesterday, and I wasn't alone, most other parents of equally spoiled/selfish kids took notice of this one's character. Praise God for this child.

When the kids were finally tucked in for the night, Kenny and I sat and chewed on this thought for a while. This was a kid we wanted ours to be more like. I think my kids are pretty awesome kids, but I recognize we need to learn from this boy's example.

You see, from our viewpoint, he doesn't have very much, materially or otherwise. But that isn't what makes him beautiful. It's not his lack of "stuff" including lack of a daddy that makes this kid shine brighter than the rest. I can't say exactly what it is that makes this boy so Christlike but I think it has much to do with what I am going to call "exposure".

Exposure means what he sees and lives with and relates to and is asked to understand on a daily basis. I imagine it is vastly different than my kids' exposure. I think about the recent hurricane. We have donated an amount I feel pretty good about, but we could do more.....but because we don't have TV in our home, my kids are pretty clueless about the whole thing. I think I thought I was sparing them the confusion and the saddness of the whole situation. I've thought, "they're young, they're innocent, they don't really need to know what a scary, difficult, unfair world we live in. I am rethinking that now. I don't want to shock them just to cause them pain, but by not exposing them to life outside what is safe, nice and easy, I am hardening their hearts to the fruits of the spirit. I don't think you can learn love, joy and peace when you're not exposed to the reality of this world, absent from those. Can you learn kindness, patience, goodness when you aren't faced with a dire need for those traits? Thankfulness is learned best when you have the least, You understand gentleness best when you see the ugliness of harshness. And self-control is just an ambiguous concept to those who have more than they need.

We are spoiled and we are selfish and I think it is not because our hearts are spoiled and selfish, but because of who and what we expose ourselves to and more importantly our children to.

I want my boys to be more like that little boy asleep in their room, but what I am really saying is he reminds me of Jesus and I am reminded by this 9 year old why being a Christian is what it is, being more like Christ.

We are four years past the sad day of 9-11, and nearing two weeks since Hurricane Katrina hit. Life is hard, God knew it would be full of great sadness and joy. I am beginning to see the wisdom of us being exposed to the pains of this world. Only through that can we be refined and direct others to know the Savior of mankind.